Years ago, while thinking through the issue of discipleship in the Church, I remember coming across a powerful little Indian proverb. It went something like this:

"Show me how you live and I'll tell you what you what you believe."

The expression rang true to me- for a couple of different reasons. For one- it implicitly stated a truth that is too often missing in many contemporary Christian circles; that being the fact that belief is communicated not primarily by what we say- but by what we do. And not even by what we do in a one-off "what would Jesus do?" temporary behavior adjustment, kind of way, but by what we do on a habitual, drawn-out basis. In other words, by how we truly live our everyday lives.

Secondly, it rang true to me because it communicated that one really doesn't have to try to make an impression about a certain underlying belief system, it just happens- whether you want it to or not. Give people time and they will see your true colors.

Whether or not the belief system you end up revealing is the one you hoped to reveal or not is another question! But even if this process brings an unwelcome revelation about your own spiritual maturity, it's still valuable because this provides an accurate gauge as to where you're at. And from there you can begin to focus on moving forward.

As the years have gone by, I have frequently returned to this simple little proverb. I think it's a great place from which to jump off into rethinking how we approach discipleship in the 21st century church.

While this "show me how you live..."proverb is universally true, I think it's even more powerful when applied to our 21st century western society. While all societies are/were made up of people who can/could sniff out a fake, our contemporary society takes things one step further by raising our youth with a philosophy that says, whenever possible- question authority and "don't believe the hype". I can attest to this because, not growing up in a Christian home- this is exactly what I was raised to believe.

I grew up in a generation that was taught- at all costs, to question authority. There was no sacred ground. This was even more the case for me, because my non-Christian upbringing didn't even provide me with a trust of "spiritual advisors". In fact, if anything, my father's ranting about the latest televangelist scandal taught me that no group should be trusted less so than "the Christians".

In all honesty, this anti-authority philosophy does have its place- in the sense that is has arisen out of real abuse. After all, people didn't get here from nowhere at all. It only takes a couple Watergates to lead people to question authority. And the Church of course is not exempt from blame either. The Catholic Church in particular is still in the midst of dealing with its own abusive past (and sometimes present).

We would be foolish however to think that only the Roman Church is guilty. I know many people have found similar abuse amongst the most "Spirit-filled", charismatic circles. I'm sure each of our traditions has its own skeletons. But as true as these things are, we as a Church are still called to "go and make disciples" of all nations. Notice the keyword there is disciples, not converts. And so we have to find a way forward. It's essential that we pass on the legacy that has been left with us - to the next generation.

So how do we do this?

Well, let's return to our little Indian proverb. Why not let it dictate our actions? In other words, we need to structure our lives in such a way that we actually can show ourselves (i.e. the way we live our lives) both to new Christians and to our unchurched neighbors.

Superficially, this might seem a simple plan, but implementing it involves real sacrifice. Let me demonstrate by reflecting on my own experience with discipleship and spiritual formation.

Remember, I grew up with the perspective that I should question all authority figures and all authoritative teachings- except just this one. Here you end up with the same kind of dilemma as you do with the assertion that there are no absolutes- knowing of course, that this idea itself is an absolute. The contradiction is as obvious as it is hilarious- in both cases.

As I grew in my own Christian walk, I eventually (believe me, it took a while) grew to the point where I was willing to question this foundational teaching. I began to wonder, is it really productive to question everyone? Am I really in a position (i.e. equipped with enough wisdom), as a young person, to question everything that has come before me and stands "above" me? It took a long time, but eventually I got around to realizing that this idea was a little far-fetched. It really was not ultimately helpful for me to see myself as the center of the moral universe. This idea died hard, but eventually- it did die.

So at some point, perhaps it was years after I first made my "faith statement towards Jesus", I began to trust the Christians who were in authority over me. The process wasn't quick- and it probably wasn't pretty- (especially to those who were my early spiritual advisors!). However, in the end, I was sold on the idea. I let myself be discipled. And looking back, I wouldn't trade this for anything else in the world. Passing on moral knowledge (the kind that actually helps you live a more fruitful and meaningful life) is the greatest gift that can be given- and likewise the greatest gift to receive.

When I think back on the "how" of my discipleship experience, a key factor comes to mind. I realize now that the opportunity to watch- was essential. Those of us in our 20's and 30's have been raised to be media-savvy. We are always watching. A discipler who knows this will settle in for the long haul- knowing that "telling" is probably not going to be enough. Telling is too much like advertising, which my generation is keen to reject- (and in most cases- rightly so).

Like I said, telling isn't enough, it's got to be about showing. And put simply, showing just takes longer. There's no real short-cut around this fact. Showing means making choices and then waiting around long enough for the consequences to kick in. Looking back I realize this is how I learned the majority of my early lessons in following Jesus.

You see its one thing to come to the point where Jesus is received as Lord and friend. It's quite another to get to the point where one actually rethinks the very assumptions about how to navigate through the world. And yet that's what Christianity is, it's an entirely different milieu for existence. It's a revolution.

No one really tells you this at first, and even if they did, you probably wouldn't get it. You certainly wouldn't like it. In fact you'd probably spend the next several years (or more in my case) trying to prove this theory false.

Eventually though, you do end up surrendering to it. I choose the word surrender here because this resignation only comes only after the battle is effectively lost. You get there (again, I'm speaking from personal experience here) only when you realize there just is no other option left to explore.

When I think about having the opportunity "to watch" my former disciplers live, it occurs to me that the platform for which this is made possible- is relationship. Now this is a word we talk a lot about in Christian circles. Sometimes we use it a little loosely to describe the short time span necessary to get someone to the point where they'll receive Jesus.

Relationship- in its fuller sense- is much more time-consuming, and in some ways, more costly than this. Its one thing to "endure" someone long enough to lead them to Jesus. It's quite another to commit to being a life-long friend.

Let's be honest, life long relationship with a broken person can be downright difficult. And there's no use faking it. One- because this is disingenuous to representing Jesus, and, Two - because no matter how broken someone is, they'll eventually pick up the scent of your alternative agenda- if there is one. So the only way forward is by being a friend- for real. And that's painful because broken people do not make healthy choices. Not for a long time. And often their "mess" gets on you and the ones you love.

This is not "fun" by any stretch of the imagination. But it is a form of bearing the cross of Christ. It is a way to minister to "the least of these". And as such- becomes a venue for serving Jesus himself.

Even before the issue of loving the less than loveable comes up however, we in contemporary Western society need to ask ourselves another counter-cultural question: are we going to structure our lives in such a way as to be available for a discipling relationship in the first place?

Let's face it- this is challenging. In terms of commitment, these days many people think they're doing well if they can make it to a church service on Sunday- and to a home group one night a week.

One has to ask though- how is discipling (which is all about watching, walking along side, and learning) going to happen in venues where all we do is "talk at people" for 30 minutes or so? I myself am convicted by this point. As a friend of mine put it a while back- "how are soccer moms supposed to walk out the Kingdom mission?"

We are so busy as to make this virtually impossible. I'm not trying to judge anyone here. We're all trying to juggle busy schedules. I'm just saying that when our society runs as it does- on the pistons of production and consumerism, it's awfully difficult to put some of this into practice. This is an aspect of contemporary western life that we really need to think and pray through. We need to take the time to explore the alternatives.

Let me bring this back around to my own testimony. I know that the people who discipled me did it at great personal cost to themselves- and even to their families. And I know that some of them aren't even around anymore to be able to see the fruit of their labor. And yet there is fruit- and what they did was vitally important- not just for me, but for every person I now have the opportunity to touch. Before long you realize that the impact is exponential. But it all begins with a simple decision to be-friend a wayward, broken human being.

For those who want to take up the cause that Jesus described (which was not just about leading people to him, but also about bringing them to full maturity as well), then there is a cost to be paid. And we should take pause to consider these costs.

But if you decide to take up the cause, then just remember a couple simple points. One- make yourself available so that you can come "under surveillance" as it were, by someone else. And secondly, stick around long enough to let someone you're discipling see the fruit, or lack there of, of your own choices made along the way. This is neither a simple, nor a short-lived approach.

Unlike marketing slogans everywhere, here you must, in a sense- "pay now and buy later". But that is an essential aspect of the gospel; after all, sacrifice is part of the deal. But when it comes to investments made here on this temporal plane, knowing that such sacrifice can really help to change lives, you realize that there truly is no greater way to spend a life.

"Show me how you live and I'll tell you what you believe."

Enough said.