A few years ago I read a book about the different ways that one guy has experienced God at different times in his ministry.  He talked about some pretty crazy stuff.  For example, this one time, he said that God’s presence was so thick in the air, people actually had trouble breathing.  At another time he said the power of God had descended upon this church with so much weight, that upon entering the building, people were reduced to crawling because they simply couldn’t stand up under it all.  Other instances included men dancing like ballerinas and a pastor being thrown back several feet and knocked unconscious, but completely unharmed.  I don’t know about you, but these experiences were nothing like my own.

At my church, we sang songs and lifted our hands – which, at first, I thought was really weird and I was always self-conscious about doing so.  There were even times when someone would start speaking in tongues for a good minute or so and then someone else would interpret.  Then, each year we also had “Revival Week” with an evangelist who would come.  During the alter calls there was always the laying on of hands and some people fell and some didn’t.  He prophesied over some and didn’t over others.  I always hoped he’d have something special to say to me, something straight from God.

Recently, I was at a high school youth service where I volunteer.  The youth pastor and I had been switching off speaking in a series on Identity and this night was the final one.  The room was lit mostly by candles and he had set up these different “stations” that the students could go to during the response time.  At one station were the communion elements, at another pieces of paper you could write something on to lay at the foot of a wooden cross, at another a journal, and so on.  During this time, there was one guy playing a guitar and singing different worship songs.  It seemed as though all the factors were in place for a really moving, possibly even emotional time with God.

And I felt nothing.

Now, as someone who, for most of their Christian life, has spent time experiencing God in emotional ways, this was tough for me.  And it isn’t just that it happened this one time.  This is pretty much the norm for me right now.  To be honest, it is kind of frustrating.  I don’t know, maybe I just need to read my Bible more, or spend more time in prayer on a regular basis – which, admittedly, I do.  But maybe it is neither of those things, maybe it is something much different.

As I sat there last night, feeling nothing, I began to think about that book I read, the one with all the crazy God-experiences.  I wondered if maybe that’s the way it should be.  Maybe crazy stuff is supposed to happen when God shows up- and that’s how you know it is really him.  And then I remembered the time in the Bible where it talks about how God told Elijah He was going to appear to him.  There was a windstorm and Elijah thought perhaps God was in it, but he wasn’t.  Then an earthquake, but again, no God.  A fire, no God.  And then finally, God appears.  In a gentle whisper.

In that moment, as I sat on the hard floor, surrounded by the scents of various candles, I was reminded that there is no one way to experience God.  I think to some extent we get this.  We say, “that church does it that way, and that’s cool because God is not limited to just that way.”  And yet within our own churches, we always try to create a certain experience, don’t we?  If we play the right songs, in the right order, in the right light, in the right way, people will, inevitably, experience God.  And when they do, they will cry and lift their hands, they will dance and fall to their knees, they will fall down prostrate and pray for each other.  And if we do it really well - look out - the preacher will be filled with the Spirit and either go off-book or just tell the worship band to keep playing!  Of course, I am poking some fun here - and much of it at my own background - but don’t you feel like, at least to some extent, we all have these thoughts somewhere in the back of our minds?

As I write this, I cannot help but feel like we are missing the point.  I wonder, how often do you think God shows up when you think the worship singing is off-key and the drummer keeps speeding up?  How often do you feel him when the leader forgets the words or the guitar goes out of tune and they have to stop so he can tune up? 

I wonder…maybe, just maybe, we are just as close to God when we don’t feel Him as we are when we do.  I wonder if sometimes we create these really emotional experiences where everything runs smoothly not so that God will show up, but so that we can feel like he did.

I hope this isn’t coming across as condescending to those who really enjoy the emotional experiences.  I really enjoy them, too!  It is cool to get the warm fuzzies and to just be left speechless or even excited by God.  I just want us to remember, even though it can be really hard, that God is just as glorified in the power of thunder and lightning as he is in the humility of an uttered whisper.

So go ahead.  Whisper.  And let that seeming emptiness be rich and full with the presence of God.